The Curse of Dethklok (episode)
"The Curse of Dethklok" is the first episode of the first season of Metalocalypse. It premiered on Adult Swim as the pilot episode in the T.V. show's debut and features all five of the main protagonists as the death metal band Dethklok. Synopsis Dethklok, the biggest most successful metal band in the world has a concert in Norway and gets a new chef. After their chef is injured they try to buy groceries for themselves for the first time. When they fail, they solve the problem by stitching the chef back together. Plot The New Chef The episode opens with Jean-Pierre, a French chef, praying and sweating in front of a large furnace. An alarm sounds, summoning Jean-Pierre into a dining hall where the leading characters are sitting at a long table. We learn that Jean-Pierre is the most recent in a long line of chefs employed by Dethklok and that their previous chef had "his face smashed in by a hovercraft". Skwisgaar further explains that, "all of their chefs has died a horrible death". Although Jean-Pierre appears visibly shaken, he seems undeterred by the risks, even going so far to say that he would rather his brains be "scooped out by a melon baller" than miss the opportunity to serve his "beloved Dethklok". Suddenly, the screen shakes and it is shown that they are on a large helicopter called the Dethkopter. Jean-Pierre presents the band a bottle of wine given to them by the Prime Minister of Norway. Nathan refuses immediately, stating "we never drink before a show". His statement is then proved false as Murderface and the rest of the band disagree, leading Nathan to recant his statement. After the opening theme, a news broadcast of a man reports from Batsfjord, Norway about the "over 300,000 fans" gathered to witness Dethklok preform a single song. The "song" is actually a "coffee jingle" promoting their sponsor Duncan Hills Coffee in an attempt to "make coffee metal", as Nathan states in an interview. Fans are required to sign pain waivers in order to see the show. Pain waivers remove any possibility of lawsuits against Dethklok should those attending get injured or die, which can be assumed happens often as several fans waiting for the show are interviewed and sustain injuries they received during a Dethklok show. The Dethcopter approaches and releases a large box containing the band. It parachutes down halfway, then cuts the lines, leading the box to fall down missing its clearing and killing a large group of fans. Dethklok, however, preforms as if nothing happened. During the jingle, Klokateers pour hot coffee and cream onto fans, scalding and melting their skin off. Despite the injuries and lives lost, the concert seems to still be an astounding success until a Klokateer releases fireworks. As they soar through the air, one of the rockets ricochets off of another rocket and flies straight into one of the windows of the Dethcopter and into Jean-Pierre who is pushed upwards through an opening in the helicopter's roof and into the rotor blades and torn to pieces. The band, having stopped playing, looks skyward in shock as blood splatters onto them and their helicopter explodes. Introducing Dethklok An older man, Senator Stampingston, is introduced. He describes Dethklok as a threat while speaking to a group of important figures in "The Tribunal". Stampingston states that Dethklok is "no laughing matter" since "they're the world's greatest cultural force". He gives evidence to this by illustrating the success Duncan Hills Coffee became after Dethklok's endorsement; "every other coffee company has been obliterated" as a result. The band members are then formally established by Stampingston in a way similar to that of the opening theme of Metalocalypse: *First is Skwisgaar Skwigelf (lead guitarist); "taller than a tree". *Second, Toki Wartooth (rhythm guitarist); "not a bumblebee". *Third, William Murderface (bass guitarist); "William Murderface, Murderface, Murderface". *Fourth, Pickles (drummer); "doodily doo, ding dong, doodily doodily doo". *Fifth and finally, Nathan Explosion (lead vocalist and frontman); simply, "Nathan Explosion". Cardinal Ravenwood warns the others of an ancient Sumerian prophecy that heavily implies that Dethklok will bring about a global catastrophe similar to that of Armageddon. General Crozier recommends they attack Dethklok now, but Mr. Salacia says they have to wait. Food Libraries The band is shown back in Mordhaus following the somewhat-demise of Jean-Pierre. The band members discuss a "curse" as it seems that those they come in contact with die or are horribly mutilated. Nathan suggests that not all of their employees are cursed, agreeing with Pickles that only their chefs are cursed due to their constant dying. Toki, however, reminds them that their recent chef is still living, albeit severely maimed and plugged up to various machine to remain breathing. Pickles points out that keeping Jean-Pierre alive costs them $10,000/day, much to his and his bandmates' astonishment. In reaction, Murderface suggests to shut down Jean's life support in order to save money, but Pickles says to fire him, because "he's all lazy" and "hasn't cooked a damned thing all day long". Murderface starts to rant about how he is "the fat one", and says that "the one good thing about Jean-Pierre being dead is maybe he won't eat so much" and lose his "flabby death handles". After Murderface calms down, Toki says that without someone to cook for them, they are all going to starve. In response, Dethklok travels to a supermarket called "FINTROLLS" to get food. Toki is amazed by the new surroundings, as he doesn't know what it is called. Skwisgaar tells him it is called a "food libraries", unintentionally misinforming Toki, prompting Pickles to correct him. Nathan tells them to get the food listed on the papers he gave them and noting the group to not buy just beer, which Murderface objects to and says he would rather amputate his own wiener, surprising Toki. The band disperses and the scene cuts to Nathan who is in the meat department. He needs to make the Spanish dish "Paella" and needs sausages for this. He pushes the glass casing inward with his forehead, impaling a shard in his face and in his arms as he reaches in to grab them. Murderface, who is in charge of dessert--as seen on his list--asks an old woman if there are olives in lemon tarts. When he doesn't get an immediate answer, he calls the woman "wrinkle tit" and proceeds to urinate into the open olive bar stating that "it's pee-pee time". Despite being in charge of making "Lobster Bisque", Pickles fills his cart with alcohol. As he walks through an aisle he asks a store clerk if booze is good for soup. The clerk says "no", but Pickles interrupts, claiming that it is a "yes" and continues on his way. Meanwhile, Toki, who is shopping with Skwisgaar, asks what walnuts are. Instead of answering, Skwisgaar slips a box of tampons into Toki's cart and taunts him about being a lady. Slightly annoyed, Toki retaliates by calling Skwisgaar a lady causing the lead guitarist to angrily and swiftly deny that he is not. Pickles is then seen telling a butcher that when the blue lobster is boiled it shrinks, turns red and dies, which the butcher agrees to, promting Pickles to say it is the most metal thing he has heard. Nathan then plays with the intercom which amuses his bandmates. All the while, Skwisgaar flirts with an old lady by explaining the term "G-MILF". After arriving back at Mordhaus, the band gathers in the kitchen and are staring into an empty pan. Nathan tells them to put the ingredients into the pan, but finds out from Toki that they left all the food back at the grocery store. Nathan screams. Dethklok go to the infirmary and beg Jean-Pierre to cook for them. None of the band's pleading works, however, making dejected, Murderface suggest committing suicide. Skwisgaar suggests sewing their chef back together. Toki points out that since they "are such screw-ups" Jean-Pierre will be "sewn back together wrong". Nathan, hearing this, comes up with an idea for a song that is used in the credits. A newly sewn and alive Jean-Pierre ambles into the dining hall, repulsing the band members with his hideous appearance--making Pickles cringe, Murderface throw up in his mouth and Toki cry a single tear. Trivia *'Corpse count:' 77 birds (shredded by Dethcopter blades); 6 bystanders (crushed by the Dethcube); 5 people in the audience (burned by coffee) and one background repairman (impaled by one of the Mordhaus spires). Total: 89 *It should be noted that in the pilot episode Toki's voice is much deeper than his normal, high-pitched one during the rest of the episodes of Metalocalypse. *Toki saying that a man "blowing his brains out" would make a great album cover is a reference to Per "Dead" Ohlin from the Norwegian black metal band Mayhem, whose suicide photo was the album cover for Mayhem's bootleg album Dawn of the Black Hearts. *"Rotted Body Landslide", "Every Bone Broken" and "Hammer Smashed Face" are all said over the loudspeaker in the grocery store by Nathan, and are all titles of songs by Cannibal Corpse. *One of the interviewed characters is actually Goat from the show Megas XLR, as well as a show called Downtown, which was created for MTV. *The "foods library" is named Finntroll's after the metal band. *The GMILF is voiced by Laraine Newman who would later voice Skwisgaar, Pickles, and Nathan's moms, the female reporter, Liz Bane, and Nathan's grandmother. *An instrumental snippet of "Hatredy" is played after the GMILF cutaway, although that song wasn't written until Dethkomedy. *Dethklok performing a concert in the Arctic Circle, however short it may have been, is a reference to Metallica's "Coldest Show on Earth" in 1995. Metallica would later play a show in the Antarctic Circle in 2013 *As Skwisgaar points at the packet of tampons he has slipped into Toki's cart, some groceries become visible, including a cuboid box with a depiction of Toki and the words 'Metal' and 'Bit' on it. This might refer to the grotesque endorsement deals the band sometimes agrees into (un-)intentionally. Category:Episodes Category:Season 1 Category:Written by Tommy Blacha Category:Written by Brendon Small Category:Episodes with guest voices